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Monday, January 4, 2010

101 Ways To Die in Middle Earth

I found this on Melian's blog (click the "Elvish Maiden" link in my blog list in the right sidebar to go to her blog). Enjoy!

Presenting... One Hundred and One Ways To Die In Middle Earth

You could:
1. Be eaten by a dragon
2. Be squashed by a dragon
3. Be roasted by a dragon
4. Be impaled by a dragon's claw
5. Be eaten by a tree
6. Look for firewood in Fangorn Forest
7. Fall off a cliff
8. Fall into mount doom
9. Protect Osgiliath
10. Be Denethor's son
11. Get lost in the dead marshes
12. Sneak up on the witchking
13. Scare Legolas
14. Steal weed from Sauramon
15. Be trampled by a horse
16. Be trampled by an oliphant
17. Be trampled by a warg
18. Be squeezed by an Ent
19. Be squashed by an Ent
20. Be trampled by a Dragon
21. Be clubbed by a troll
22. Be poisoned by goblins
23. Fall off your boat
24. Insult Galadriel
25. Be Haldir (in the movie)
26. Look like an orc
27. Act like an orc
28. Smell like an orc
29. Be an orc
30. Fall behind (Pirates of the Caribbean)
31. Shriek like a ringwraith
32. Carry the one ring
33. Play with shelob
34. Swim in the forbidden pool
35. Laugh at Sauron
36. Throw yourself off Sauraman's tower
37. Act stupid around Gandalf
38. Laugh at a wizard
39. Pick a troll's pocket
40. Fall on your sword
41. Fall on someone else's sword
42. Shoot yourself in the head
43. Mess up Legolas' hair
44. Insult Gimli with Legolas standing by
45. Dance like an idiot in Lothlorien
46. Breath loudly in Lothlorien
47. Curse elves in black speech and then laugh
48. Steal a hobbit's beer
49. Be the gate keeper at Bree
50. Cook yourself (like Denethor)
51. Throw yourself from the Top of the White city
52. Let Gandalf throw you from the Top of the White City
53. Torch the white tree for fun
54. Take a nap on a burning beacon
55. Look into the Palantia
56. Steal the king's crown
57. Take a stroll through Mirkwood
58. Take a bath in the dead Marshes
59. Bathe in the river of forgetfulness
60. Be eaten by spiders
61. Steal dwarf gold
62. Have your head chopped off
63. Drown at Isengard
64. Be licked by Grima Wormtongue
65. Kissed by a Dementor (he he…)
66. Get stabbed by Sam
67. Be speared by Aragorn
68. Get shot by Aragorn
69. Be ripped open by Aragorn's bare hands
70. Be trampled by Bill the pony
71. Be a battle horse from Rohan
72. Have your legs eaten by orcs in front of you
73. Be a Nazgul when Legolas is around
74. Be an Orc
75. Tickle Smaug the dragon
76. Attempt to break into Sauron's Tower
77. Lock yourself in Moria
78. Try trick or treating in Mordor
79. Get crushed in an Avalanche
80. Have Sauraman twirl you around in the air
81. Insult Denethor's eating habits
82. Be choked to death by Gollum
83. Take a stroll through the path of the dead
84. Explore nasty dark caves
85. Smell good
86. Smell bad
87. Lose your sword
88. Run out of arrows
89. Eat your sword
90. Eat an arrow
91. Be a fool of a Took
92. Swallow your pipe weed
93. Take a nap on weathertop
94. Have your head chopped off and catapulted at your comrades
95. Stick the end of your staff up a troll's nose
96. Play football with armored trolls
97. Forget your helmet at the battle of Helm's deep
98. Eat a raw brace of conies
99. Trip and fall down some stony steps
100. Choke on Frodo's finger
101. Throw rocks at Sauron's eye

1 comment:

Rachel B said...

lol! Those are awesome. I hate to say it, but I don't know what an Ent is...