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Thursday, September 8, 2011

100 Theme Challenge (1)

I was hesitant to post this, as it is entirely unedited ramblings of myself at 10 PM when I need to write something and don't know what. Apparently it's better than I thought, so without further ado....

Theme 1: Introduction

Welcome to the Middle of Nowhere. Population, 7.42. Don't ask how you end up with .42 of a person. Carson doesn't like it when people ask questions.
Actually, it wasn't always so quiet around here. Last week we were almost up to 20 people. It seems people don't like living out here, though, what with all the crazies running around. Edith took off like the Headless Horseman was after her, last time some strangers came through. I can't for the life of me figure out what scared her so bad. We haven't seen him around these parts in years.
Really it's not so bad around here. There's the occasional monster running around the lake, but they're perfectly harmless. Anyone who can shoot a gun has a pretty good chance of surviving, assuming the monster is alive. Those undead do cause problems though. They took out a good 6 or 7 people last week. Poor guys. I told 'em not to go fishing on Friday, but they just had to. Some people get too excited about the chance to see a zombie. What's so interesting about a half-rotted former human, though?
But I shouldn't be scaring you with stories like that. Those were just what you call "freak accidents". It's pretty quiet around here for the most part. Too quiet, sometimes. When you've only got 7 people running around, and Carson hobbling around like a faun wearing high-heels, there's not much in the way of entertainment. 'Cause no matter how many times Carson falls in the lake, do not laugh. That might very well be the worst idea you ever have.
We tried putting on a play once, back when the population was up a bit. 'Cept the only stuff we could find was Shakespeare. Ever heard a backwoods hick recite Hamlet? Not good, I tell you. I knew we should have gave his part to Trent, but he had an unfortunate accident the week before practices started.
Nobody would have showed up anyway. Who visits the Middle of Nowhere? I've seen a few people around, of course, but I didn't stick around to find out what they were doing. Never talk to strangers. The Middle of Nowhere is a nice place to live, but I wouldn't want to visit there.
Well, it's nice to see you. I hope you enjoy your stay! I'll have to go chance the numbers on the sign out by the road, if'n you're planning on being here a while. Make yourself at home. There's some abandoned houses over in that direction, just mind you watch for the varmints. Sarah found a copperhead in there a month ago. Like to never have killed that thing. You won't want that house. I never got around to patching up the holes the shotgun left in the walls. I'll see you around!

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