ramblings of a terribly tired teenager (a lowercase post).

i've said a hundred times that i hate journaling.

i don't want people to read what i write because i'm self-conscious like that

and people are extremely nosy.

so i ask myself often why i have a blog.

why share with the world a bunch of stuff about a person they don't know?

but y'know, it hit me.

i guess there are some things i want to share.

not meaningless little things.

but stuff that will make a difference in the end.

maybe by sharing thoughts,

something i typically hate doing,

i might somehow be used to help someone else.

or, at least give some poor bored person-who-likes-to-read-this-stuff something to do.

because i really do need to get it out,

even if i don't like it.

anyhow, i've been kind of tired this weekend. yesterday was fun, but i'm exhausted now.

as a result, i'm even more self-conscious than normal.

"why the heck did i say that? "

"why did i treat that person that way?"

"why am i so odd?"

whether it happened an minute ago or a year ago.

all those little things bug me.

church this morning was exactly what i needed.

my youth pastor said things in sunday school that i needed to hear.

it's okay to be the quirky one.

i have my purpose.

this is just life, i don't have to sweat these little things.

i'm grateful that i'm allowed to go to the second service at church.

the words of those songs...

i'm no good at describing feelings.

i needed them.

and i may be the odd one, but i have potential.

so even if i am self-conscious, i'll still keep writing.

maybe it'll reach someone.